Sexual fantasy

A woman came in a counseling session and expressed the problem to me as a psychologist, he is a working woman, single, young adults are physically attractive and intellectually smart enough. Lately he often dreamed of making love to a co-worker the postscript of a married man. Almost the same as the experience of the woman who we will call Ariel (not her real name), with the other client just call Gary (not his real name), the final adult man, a young executive, is married and has 4 children, who dreamed of having sex multiple times Another woman who was working relationships just knew through a business meeting.If ariel feel so guilty because her dream man to the status of the husband, while Gary besides feeling not imagine he dreamed of having sex with another woman, Gary also felt guilty at her, as if he had betrayed his wife in his own dream.Conflict experienced by myself and Gary Ariel actually a lot going on other individuals. Guilt when sleeping dreaming of having sex with someone other than their spouse or have sex with another person who should not, indeed can create dissonance or discomfort to an individual who will be able to refer to things that are more negative as guilt. Excessive guilt can lead to imbalances in a person's emotions.Pertanyaannnya it appropriate we feel guilty about our sexual fantasies? Especially passive like a dream fantasy for example. And what about the active fantasy, like dreaming sex with someone other than their spouse or other individual undue? The answer; YES and NO. As complex and simple as it is the answer. Dreams as fantasies are at the stage called unconsciousness or unawareness of stage one (Eysenk & Wilson, 1979). In layman if we are to judge from the scientific fact that the sexual fantasies that appear in dreams when we sleep is something beyond our control. Because the logic of dreams as a product of the subconscious is not controlled by us. We can not regulate or instruct us to envision a person in accordance with the scenario we want, when we sleep.In "The Interpretations of Dreams" (1950). Sigmud Freud said that dreams are wish of fulfillment. This means that when a person dreams he had put seeds of hope before when he was still in the consciousness. Ariel and Gary is innocent when asleep dreaming of having sex with another individual undue based normative values ​​they have as members of society. Because they did not have authority to regulate when they deliberately want to sleep dreaming of another individual, but as described by Freud (1950), most likely male co-worker Ariel dreaming married it, is often the result of reverie (daydream) Ariel hopes far the most in the bottom of her meeting with the man when he was single, or divorced, and so on that can enable them to become more intimate relationship than just co-workers. In Gary, in just a few meetings he felt his new colleagues are very physically attractive so that Gary ever wished how it feels to have sex with a woman as his new colleague. Reverie or daydream of Ariel and Gary from the conscious to the subconscious is sent automatically to be fulfilled. The process of working like this is true of all forms of dreams not only on sexual fantasies.So if a dream is a hope or a wish fulfillment of fulfillment of the things we can not do or problem is not resolved in our consciousness, how a fantasy like a dream and reverie could have a bad effect on the aspect of a person's life?We as individuals must be able to have a sensitivity or sense of self (self-awareness) in conjunction mensikapi our sexual fantasies as biological beings, which means that sex is a natural part of a normal human.Simply put Crooks & Baur, (2002) as also disclosed Eysenk & Wilson, (1979), that fantasy tends to be more ideal than a reality, so the thoughts and dreams relatively more exciting than the reality.On the positive thoughts and dreams can become a "rebound" or outlet to realize the extent of the delusion. Research Jusung-Amirin, Meinarno & Suwartono (2006) from the University of Indonesia, on the Khasan differences sexual fantasy story created by men and women to show how men are different from women become aroused (arouse), proving how women actually have sexual fantasies richer than men, nearly the same as the results of Barclay study (1976) of Massachuset State University suggests an explanation for why many women who managed to become a nun than men to become monks or widowed women are more resistant than divorced men, sexual fantasy is simply a lot of play meet the biological needs of women psychologically, that is fantasy. The two different scientific studies 30 years, as well as explain why the observations of researchers music concerts or band showcase boys or male model in Jakarta a lot of women are hysterical and screaming and some even fainted because he could be close to her idol celebrities, if psychology social explaining this have a tendency to aggressiveness in the psychology of time (Baron & Byrne, 1996) the sexual psychology sees this as the fulfillment of women's sexual or platonic love fantasy came true. Fantasy that was not identified because many impossibility or realistically impossible suddenly becomes quite realistic to meet the object of affection who idolized where before she had to build their own private emotions on a particular object of affection long before they met.Based on the facts of knowledge and scientific studies mentioned above, it is quite wise to begin to look at where the sexual fantasies that can and wants us realized and which should remain a delusion. The most powerful tips that I can give to the reader; realize that excites sexual fantasies without guilt, meaning if you are a indivu an adult (mature) and responsible you certainly know when a reverie just to make you feel guilty does that conflict with conscience and the values ​​that you have, so you should choose to not fully realize it happen, because I understand it so could not block anyone or tell you to stop dreaming as a psychological freedom, of course. If the realization of the dream of your relationship with your husband or wife for the better quality, why not? But only through delusion you feel guilty, especially if you are desperate to make it happen, you yourself would feel the consequences. Remember emotion (or feeling) is never wrong, we could never push the button in our brain or heart to fall in love, angry, sad and happy but it is our attitude that determines our emotions are individuals who like what.